The truth is that marriage rarely turns out to be exactly what you expected. How well do you really know someone until you’ve been married to them for years? Falling in love is great. Getting married is wonderful. Staying married is hard work.
The truth is we are all broken in some way. If you expect your spouse to be the perfect mate you will be disappointed. If you expect your spouse to do things around the house just like mom or dad, you may not get what you expect. If you think being married will solve all of your emotional or sexual problems, wrong again.
My point here is that in order to have a happy marriage, you have to learn to be broken together. Everyone has baggage, some heavier than others. Life will bring many ups and downs. How a couple handles the trials of life is vital to the marriage lasting. Trials will come. None of us gets to escape them. Illness, miscarriage, infertility, addiction, mental illness, history of abuse, distorted views of sex, death of a loved one, job loss, car accidents, discrimination, natural disasters…I could go on forever. I know this sounds depressing, but I want to encourage you to be realistic. Live in the here and now. Ask yourself, am I willing to do whatever it takes to make my marriage last? (Obviously there are exceptions to this, such as being abused by a spouse. Nobody should ever have to tolerate abuse.)
How has marriage been different from what you expected? How have you overcome the big challenges in life together as a couple? What changes do YOU need to make for your relationship to last?
Lyrics to Broken Together (Writer: Bernie Herms)
What do you think about when you look at me
I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery
How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night
It’s going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together
How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won’t give up the fight